Arcobaleno Quality
by kaze suzume
Summary: Tsuna thought that the seven strongest babies in the world were a little more than off their rockers. "Let me have a good look at that body!" "HIEEEE!" Vaira as the Arcobaleno. [Drabble-like]
1. Enter the Sun

KHR Drabble Series  
This was inspired in part by reverse the rainbow by Broken Elsewhere. An awesome read if you haven't started it already c:

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**Enter the Sun**

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Sawada Tsunayoshi was not the bravest of souls, nor was he the brightest, strongest, wittiest or wealthiest. He was called 'Dame-Tsuna', but no one knew if he gained the name because he was indeed no good, or if he was called it first and settled into the label after the fact. It no longer mattered though because the boy in question had no intention on changing his underwhelming status or mundane lifestyle. The wish for something better had been buried long ago.

Life was being picked on, video games, messy rooms, bad grades and never ending monotony. There was rarely excitement and most would balk at how boring it all was but it was _his_ life and he liked it that way. At least it made him feel better to think so.

Tsuna most definitely thought it was better than _this_.

"Just looking at you brings tears to my eyes! Oh dear it's no wonder I was called in to whip you into shape!"

His name was Lussuria, and he was a baby with a pet peacock. Or at least Tsuna thought he was a baby with the giant yellow pacifier affixed to his front but he could have easily been mistaken for a garden gnome that had been dunked into too many cans of paint and had an accident with the shears. The sunglasses did nothing to improve the look.

"Called you?! My mom asked for a tutor not a baby!" His voice grew shrill as he grabbed tufts of his hair in panic.

"Tsk tsk, those manners of yours will have to improve deary." The baby waved his index finger as if scolding a child. "And I'm not _just_ a baby tutor, I'm the greatest muay thai expert in the world! You should be honored to have the fabulous me mould and shape you into a mafia boss!"

"HIEEEE! MAFIA?!" Unable to fully comprehend what was happening he could only sputter in high-pitched tones. "Forget it! I don't need a crazy baby tutor!" Fleeing out the front door, Tsuna left the strange baby behind and hoped that he wouldn't be late to school and consequently beaten by the disciplinary committee. It was only by chance that he glanced back to see Lussuria merrily following behind him.

"Don't follow me to school!" Rounding the corner he caught sight of his crush and school idol, Sasagawa Kyoko. Snapping back around and nearly giving himself whiplash in the process, a light blush coloured his cheeks as he admired her from afar. When she stopped and looked in his direction he choked on air and made a strangled noise.

_Kyoko is looking in my direction! Did she see me?_

"Ahh how cute!" Tsuna's eyes bugged out when the delicate female kneeled in front of Lussuria.

_No way! How in the world would Lussuria be considered cute?!_

"Are you dressed up for something? You're so colourful!"

"One must always be dressed to kill in the mafia darling." Lussuria performed a dramatic hair toss. Kyoko giggled. Tsuna stood flabbergasted.

"That's so cool!"

_Cool?! In what way!?_

"Good luck with the mafia! Bye bye!"

"Taa taa!"

Stepping out into the open as his crush continued on her journey to school, Tsuna looked with disbelief to his self-proclaimed tutor who happened to be preening the feathers of his pet peacock.

"Women always have to stop and admire those graced with natural beauty."

"What!?"

"She's no where near my level, but I'm sure there's hope for your crush to blossom later on in life."

"Crush?!" He simultaneously clutched his hair and averted his eyes on reflex, his voice cracking in the process. "She's not — how did you — aughh!"

"No need to deny it boy, it's clear to me even with these shades on! Now, have you confessed to her yet?"

Tsuna denied.

Lussuria gleefully declared that he'd kill him.

After being insulted and kicked in the face a few times (the possibility that the baby really _was_ a muay thai expert painfully coming to the forefront of his mind), Tsuna actually feared for his life when he was dealt a crushing blow to his abdomen that sent him flying and coughing blood.

"Open wide now! Make sure you swallow!"

Something was shoved down his throat and he didn't even have the energy to gag. All Tsuna could think about was that death was forced upon him by a baby, and Kyoko would never know how he felt about her.

"_REBORN! CONFESS TO SASAGAWA KYOKO WITH MY DYING WILL!_"

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**A/N:** /hides in a ditch/ Soooo... this is something I started to try and get rid of my writer's block. Light mindless crack that will be made up as it goes haha. Obviously there will be several changes made from the canon-verse, and you can expect some arcobaleno!Varia to show up earlier/later than expected.

My readers waiting on my other stories: I'm trying my best. Please don't kill me.


	2. No Pain No Gain?

**No Pain No Gain?**

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After confessing to his crush, rendering the kendo captain bald and being kicked to death in between, Tsuna now sat in the one place that made him feel safe and secure.

His bedroom.

Rather, what _used_ to be his private haven until his tutor decided to move in and ruin every bit of comfort it used to hold. Now the pair sat on the floor going over the day's homework, and the not-future-mafia-boss wished that some higher power out there would somehow take pity on him and set the seemingly harmless pieces of paper on fire and reduce it to ash. But it seemed the higher powers enjoyed seeing him suffer.

To say that Lussuria had unconventional tutoring methods would be like saying the sun was a little on the bright side and a tad warm. Both an understatement of cosmic proportions. 'Tutoring' was somewhat akin to forced stripping; whenever he got an answer wrong, the satan baby would remove an article of his clothing, and if he got an answer right, he was given something of his tutor's choice to put back on. Tsuna had never felt so violated having his sweater removed before, and didn't think he would feel such relief at being granted permission to put on a single sock.

"T-THREE!" He practically screamed his answer, eyes screwed shut in his moment of fear and his arms automatically coming around to protect his body from the threat that was Lussuria.

"Wrong!" He had never heard someone sound so happy that he had made another mistake. Disappointment and perhaps exasperation, but never genuine glee. "I'll be taking your shirt now Tsuna boy!"

"PLEASE NO!" It was horrifying to be stripped of his clothes by a perverted baby despite having already run around the town in only his underwear, and the prospect of having more of his clothes removed made him break out into a cold sweat and his fingers tremble. His writing had never resembled illegible chicken scratch more than that night.

"Let me have a good look at that body!"

"HIEEEE!"

Surprising strength that something so small should never be able to muster rendered the middle school student's flailing arms useless, the flimsy cotton t-shirt coming off in a short few seconds. Something about being too scrawny and wimpy was tossed around and Tsuna couldn't keep up with all of it because the room was spinning much too quickly for his liking.

Finding himself flat on his back, his side aching something furious and a weight on his chest, Tsuna tearily whimpered as Lussuria painfully jabbed the toe of his left foot into his sternum while humming a merry tune.

"Honestly, there's no muscle; no beauty here! Terribly unfit for a Vongola mafia boss. But don't worry boy, sometimes a blank canvas is the best to work with! I'll enjoy turning you into a piece of art!"

_That's a lot to worry about!_

"I'm human! I don't want to be art!" His screech was cut off by a heavy stomp, and he knew there would likely be miniature foot-shaped bruises all over his body in the morning.

The brunet sniffled, weakly pushing himself back upright with shaky arms once the muay thai fighter sauntered back to his spot that used to be Tsuna's comfortable fluffy seat cushion. All that remained on his body other than his boxers were his jeans and a single sock, and there were a long number of questions that remained on his homework sheets.

"What.. what happens when I run out of clothes?" Tsuna asked in a small voice, wincing as he rubbed his sore chest.

_Maybe, maybe he'll give me all my clothes back and we'll just start over again!_

The absolutely thrilled smile he got in response told him that it was foolish of him to have any hope.

"Ohohoho! Excellent question darling, you'll have to wait to find out!"

Neither had to wait long. Two incorrect answers later to be exact.

"I'll make sure these lessons are properly beaten into you dear boy!"

Most enjoyed fashion magazines and superstars while Lussuria cooed over the pictures of dead bodies. Bodies, who just so happened to belong to the former candidates of the next Vongola Don that had all unfortunately kicked the bucket and subsequently sent the baby tutor to his doorstep. So it came as no surprise that the next step after losing everything but his boxers would be to get kicked around like a soccer ball, Lussuria commenting on how much of an _improvement_ his skinny body made when covered in injuries.

Nine questions later, and Tsuna was nearly crying tears of joy when he pulled his jeans back on.

One thing was for sure, he would be bundling up as if it were the next coming of the Ice Age for his next tutoring lesson.

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**A/N:** Ahh poor Tsuna. Lussuria is definitely not the ideal tutor, but at least his method is effective? Well, Tsuna will study harder than ever in any case.

Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows! C:

Gokudera might come next.. hmm or maybe someone else ohoho.


	3. Two For One Deal!

**Two For One Deal!**

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"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIII!"

"HIIIEEEEE!" Screaming at the top of his lungs, Tsuna jumped a foot high off his bed before tumbling off and sprawling into an awkward heap on the floor.

Normally Lussuria would get him out of bed in the dreadful mornings via physical abuse, and when he was really unfortunate, by creepily whispering things into his ear that made the teenage boy want to scrub himself clean on the inside and out. But this was new; an ear-piercing and unpleasant yell that sent his heart flying into a frantic staccato that pounded non-stop in his cranium.

Or maybe his ears were just ringing from the ridiculous volume.

"SHUT UP YOU NOISY BRAT!" Clamping his mouth shut to stop himself from letting another frightened scream escape, he immediately zeroed onto a baby with lengthy silver locks, a large blue pacifier and a sneering visage that promised violence and pain. "Rise and shine, punk. Get dressed before I chop you into a thousand pieces!"

"HIEEEE!" Finding it appropriate to wail like a banshee because the baby was swinging around a _sword_ that had made a clean diagonal cut along his curtains, the mafia boss in training spent the next ten minutes tripping over most, if not every, object in his room. Somehow in his panic he was able to messily dress himself in his school uniform, a spattering of new bumps and bruises on every patch of visible skin.

_WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BABY?!_

"W-Who are you?!" Tsuna shrilly stuttered while cowering away from the threatening baby, glancing back once and contemplating his chances of survival if he chose to dive out the window.

"I'm your worst nightmare, little shit." His smile was anything but friendly, eyes gleaming just as brightly as the blade attached to his wrist.

_I'm going to die!_

Praying for a saviour, natural disaster, _anything _that would get this baby away from him, his hopes were answered when his bedroom door swung open.

_Thank kami, I'm saved!_

"Lussuria!" Tsuna exclaimed with relief, his body sagging at the sight of his tutor. He had never thought he would ever be so thankful to see the muay thai fighter in his life, and at that moment he felt he could have hugged him if he didn't think Lussuria would take it as an invitation to assault him.

"This baby attacked me—"

"Squ-chan!"

_SQU… SQU-CHAN?!_

Tsuna gawked like a fish.

"Voooii! Shut it you okama! You let the Vongola brat sleep in!"

_Vongola? He's in the mafia too?!_

"Aww don't be like that! I was eating breakfast and got caught up chatting with Mamma."

"This is why we should have gone together to train the brat! I knew you wouldn't get anything done! Just like with that stupid bucking bronco." Growling that last bit, the newcomer then jabbed his sword at the motionless Tsuna. "VOOOII! WHO THE HELL SAID YOU COULD SIT THERE LIKE AN IDIOT AND REST? GET MOVING OR I'LL GUT YOU!"

"HIEE—"

"STOP SCREAMING YOU LITTLE WIMP!"

_But you're yelling louder than I am!_

Tripping down the stars twice—once at the top and then again after he regained his footing around the half-point—he yelled a fleeting 'good morning' to his mother and grabbed a piece of toast before throwing himself out the front door. He was surprised he managed to get both shoes on his feet.

"You're so slow it's pathetic brat!"

Tsuna clutched his chest, falling backwards onto his rear end when he jerked away from the two babies waiting for him on the sidewalk. Was there such a thing as 'too young' to be frightened to death? Was he old enough to have a heart attack? It sure felt like one.

_How did he get here so fast?!_

"W-Wait a minute!" Using his outstretched hands as a sort of barrier between them, he cringed when the silver-haired baby took a menacing step towards him. Pleadingly, he put on his most frightened kicked-puppy look he could muster (it wasn't all that hard, really) and looked to his last hope; Lussuria.

Said flamboyant baby only laughed, a little hand hovering over his mouth but doing nothing to stifle the noise. "Tsuna dear, this is Squalo! The greatest swordsman in the world!"

"What do you want from me!"

"VOOOII! You didn't tell the brat?" Squalo tched at the muay thai fighter's careless shrug, and Tsuna was starting to feel an ominous hollow pit sink into his stomach. "We're both here to make sure the next Vongola boss isn't a complete fuck up." Three short steps, and the teenager drastically paled when the point of the swordsman's blade hovered at his throat.

"I'm you second tutor, Vongola brat."

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**A/N:** Yay Squalo! He's definitely one of my favourite Varia members. So Tsuna has two Arcobaleno tutors instead of just one. That's it though, he won't get any more than that! Next chapter will maybe have Gokudera? Hmm.. not sure yet.

Thank you all for the Reviews/Alerts/Favourites! C:


	4. The Calm

**The Calm**

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Sports were never Tsuna's forte. Neither were any other type of physical activity that required any type of hand-eye coordination and wasn't executed with a game controller of some kind.

So after he had finished his homework with Squalo tutoring (read: being beaten to an inch of his life and screaming in vain as the swordsman sliced chunks out of his manga and game collection) Lussuria joined them, and it wasn't much of a surprise that he had a mild heart attack when they informed him he had to play in the volleyball match the next day.

"No no no-nono! It's impossible! The volleyball team wouldn't pick me to play if I were the last option in the school!" The middle schooler tried to reason with the babies, but unfortunately both parties had _very_ different ideas as to what 'within reason' entailed. "Besides, I can't play volleyball!"

"VOI! Suck it up and deal with it trash! You'll be playing in that game even if I have to drag your bloody corpse onto the court!"

_Corpses can't play volleyball!_

"Ohohoho! Come now Tsuna dear, it's not like we're forcing you to play the game." Sitting atop of Tsuna's shoulder, the martial artist pat the boy's cheek in an almost caring manner. "It's just if you don't play then there will be severe consequences!" He added cheerfully.

"What kind of choice is that!?" Tsuna wailed, squawking when Lussuria's gentle hand turned into a painful fist to his face. "What did I do to deserve that one?!" Rubbing his assaulted jaw gingerly he nervously shifted his gaze to and from each of his tutors, expecting another attack but unaware of which one to be more weary of.

"I just felt like it!"

In a moment of weakness the brunet deflated, only to be smacked into the ground by the swordsman with the flat of his sword.

"VOOOII! STOP GETTING OFF TRACK! You play in that game tomorrow or I'll be jumping rope with your entrails!"

"HIEE!" Turning green at the mental image he took a chance to run away and escape the morbidly violent tutors. Which was a mistake because he ended up stepping on Lussuria's peacock's tail feathers, resulting in the flowery bird chasing him and pecking with a vengeance and both babies tossing him around and generally making a chaotic mess of his room.

The following day the volleyball team sought Tsuna and were rightly dubious as to how well he could play when littered with bruises and bandages before the match had even started, but they _needed_ him (somehow it made Tsuna's heart feel a little lighter, the feeling of being needed for once) to substitute for the members who had all mysteriously tripped down the _exact_ same staircase and broken a leg. When questioned as to what had happened, each of the students claimed that all they could remember was being in pain at the bottom of the stairs and a chilling voice that would haunt them for years.

"_VOOOOOOOOOIIII! BREAK A LEG TRASH!"_

It was most likely the reason why no one joked around with the motivational 'break a leg!', and instead simply wished the team all the luck in the world that wasn't already sucked up and devoured by the black hole of dame that was Tsuna.

And with Squalo's threat of, _'Voi! Jump as if your life depended on it or I'll be using _you_ to practice jumping!'_ Tsuna keened and screwed his eyes shut and leapt at every moment the ball was in his sight. Majority of the time he missed, but nonetheless the team and crowd cheered him on for his efforts, and a tiny part of him felt as if _maybe_ things weren't so bad.

Behind the crowd of students a single figure lounged against the open gym doors, a scowl that mismatched its wearer's youthful face assessed the scrawny boy who tripped and flailed with all of his might on the court. Jaded eyes in both literal and figurative sense narrowed with dissatisfaction, sliding away from the innocent boy and stopping at the greatest swordsman in the world.

"Voi. You're late trash." Squalo growled in uncharacteristically low tones, "When I found you in Italy you were supposed to haul your ass over to Japan immediately."

"I'm sorry, Squalo-san. There were things I had to take care of." The baby grunted in return, clearly not caring for his excuses. "Is that really the next Vongola Decimo?"

When he received a positive nod, Gokudera Hayato watched the clumsy teen peel himself off the floor and vaguely wondered if he would have the motivation to keep standing when ankle deep in the blood of his friends, family and enemies alike. Because while the gym floor was hard and covered in dirt and sweat, it was glaringly clean in comparison to the mafia. Picking yourself up seemed like a simple enough task, but in his world those who were still standing always left something behind.

He questioned if Sawada Tsunayoshi had the will to survive; to tear a path for others—_for him_—to follow.

And if he did, he wondered what, and how much Sawada Tsunayoshi would lose.

Gokudera didn't like to dwell on it.

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**A/N:** Well, this turned out a lot more sombre than I thought it would. It wasn't all that humorous, but it kind of wrote itself. And I don't know how, but somehow all of the chapters have been around the 870-880 word mark!

Also, to any newer readers, I somehow replaced chapter two with chapter three. You may need to go back and read it.

Thank you all for the reviews/alerts/favourites! I love to hear what you think C:


	5. Dreams

**Dreams**

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Tsuna didn't believe he had much luck. If he happened to be able to eat breakfast without incident, he was lucky. If he wasn't late for school, he was lucky. If he wasn't bawling his eyes out (because truthfully, he always cried) by the end of Squalo and Lussuria's tutoring sessions, he was lucky. Which is why he didn't quite know how to label the phenomenon of Kyoko merrily greeting him one morning and even walking next to him on the way to Namimori Middle.

_Kyoko-chan is actually talking to me!_

Starry-eyed—or perhaps shell-shocked was a more apt description—the next Vongola don watched the school idol who was not more than a foot away from him in a trance-like state, the world suddenly tunneling so his vision focused solely on her sunny and cheerful aura. Which led to him smacking right into a telephone pole and bouncing back, his heel catching on a loose shoelace that tripped his feet and sent him crashing onto the hard pavement.

"Tsuna-kun! Are you okay?"

"Ow ow ow—" Rubbing the back of his head, he cracked open an eye and reeled back when he found Kyoko's outstretched hand and concerned visage. Slowly reaching forward to take her hand, Tsuna wondered if he were dreaming. Because being able to hold Kyoko's hand was the things dreams were _made_ of.

"How unbelievably _shameful_ of you Tsuna!"

_OH GOD PLEASE NO LUSSURIA HAS INVADED MY DREAMS!_

However when Lussuria punched him in the jaw the sheer pain and splotches of black and white in his vision convinced him that he _wasn't_ really dreaming. Which meant his dreams were still safe from the crazy babies.

It was a small, small comfort.

But comfort was becoming a rare commodity lately, and he would take whatever scraps he could get.

"Accepting help from another person when you tripped over your own shoelaces! No, not a student of mine! The disappointment!" With a hand over his heart, the muay thai expert sang his woes with heavy dramatic flair. "Mafia bosses don't walk into telephone poles, and they definitely do not fall so ungracefully!"

Hurrying himself to his feet, Tsuna resisted the urge to pull at his hair at the mention of mafia and the knee-jerk reaction to shout in denial about becoming a boss. Thankfully Kyoko hurried after his frantic rush to school, pausing once to wave cheerfully to the insane infant. He was surprised, and suspicious, when he reached school without any further incident.

Class made no sense as usual, and he only got called on twice to give an incorrect answer to an exasperated teacher and snickering classmates. All in all, it was turning out to be a regular, boring, mundane school day.

Until he reached lunch period.

Dragging his feet after going to the washroom, a shiver snaked down his back, and while he couldn't explain how, he just knew something terrible was going to happen.

(Squalo may have mentioned something about _Vongola intuition_ once before, but Tsuna had been paying more attention to where the sword was swinging)

"_SAAWAADAAAA!"_ Frozen to the spot, he stiffly turned to where the voice howled from, a bead of sweat rolling from his temple. There was a thunder of heavy running, and the teen contemplated his chances of escape if he were to flee in the opposite direction (he'd probably trip), dart back into the washroom (dead end), or throw himself out the open window (end up dead) to escape whoever was approaching.

"Stop shivering like a spineless coward and face your opponent like a real man!"

"Lussuria!" Tsuna yelled out of partial relief and dread. "Why are you at school?! If you're caught by Hibari-senpai I'll be killed!"

"Oh please," he waved his hand in a flippant manner. "As if some school disciplinary prefect could stop me."

_It's not you I'm worried about, it's what he'll do to me!_

"Shouldn't you be more concerned about that boy running at you?"

"SAWADA!"

"Hiee!" Throwing his arms over his head as a makeshift flimsy shield, the brunet scrunched his eyes closed and tried to make himself as small as possible.

"I've been extremely looking for you everywhere! Didn't Kyoko tell you to meet me in the gym?"

"Eh? Kyoko-chan?" Unfolding himself, he opened his eyes to find Sasagawa Ryohei.

"I told Kyoko how I EXTREMELY wanted to meet you, and she offered to tell you to meet me at the gym!" Wincing at the volume the other was shouting at, Tsuna was almost grateful that he had spent hours in the presence of Squalo and his booming voice. "You didn't come to the gym, so I came to find you to the extreme!"

"You're absolutely _fabulous!_ Just look at those muscles!" Both boys swerved their heads to Tsuna's feet where Lussuria stood unnoticed (by Ryhohei) and forgotten (by Tsuna). "You must work that body hard to get it in such good shape!"

"Thank you to the EXTREME baby!"

"I'm getting the chills!" He began to wiggle his body in what Tsuna thought was an _extremely_ disturbing manner. "Now to get that uniform off—"

Thankfully—or perhaps not, Tsuna couldn't really decide—Squalo came flying through an open window from the outside with a brain-numbing roar of— _"VOOIII!—"_

—which Tsuna gave an automatic not-really-fight but-entirely-fright responding— _"HIIIEE!"_ —that quickly turned into a squawk when the swordsman's lengthy silver hair whipped the poor brunet in the face.

_WHERE DID HE EVEN SWING IN FROM?!_

Quickly barreling straight into Lussuria, there were a few indigent yelps from the muay thai expert as he protested the manhandling that did nothing to deter the swordsman from roughly tossing the other baby into an open hole in the wall. The mystery entrance way snapped closed when they both had passed through, leaving no evidence that they had been there to begin with.

_WH-WHERE DID THEY GO?! WHY ARE THERE SECRET PASSAGEWAYS IN THE SCHOOL!?_

Both teens stood in dumb silence, one questioning what he had done in his past life to deserve two psychotic babies and the other glossing over the majority of the strangeness and accepting that a bunch of unrealistic things happened and left it at that.

"SAWADA! Who were those babies?"

"My-my-my cousins!" He stammered, unable to think of a better response.

"Your little cousins are EXTREMELY EXTREME!"

Choking on another surprised _hiee_ when his body attempted to inhale and wail at the same time, the younger boy coughed roughly and sent the boxing fanatic a despairing look.

Mistakening the pleading '_someone please save me_' expression, Ryohei thumped the coughing teen's back harshly and nearly sent him toppling to the floor had he not collided with the wall instead. Standing tall, the boxer threw his fists into the air and gave an exuberant yell.

"THAT'S RIGHT! I ALMOST EXTREMELY FORGOT! SAWADA, JOIN MY BOXING CLUB!"

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**A/N:** alkfjd this is so late I'm so sorry! Ugh, life and school gets in the way of things. I actually had around 80% if this chapter finished and sitting around for weeks.. and then decided I didn't like it and deleted it all. Now I don't like it even more but I refuse to scrap it and start over again.

What is going on with my brain how to write someone teach me /dies


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